Regarding my China trip, I have complained to several people and repeated the story numerous times. So i will not talk about it anymore.. and its time to look forward. That being said, I think the amount of stress I am getting from work has reached a new level.

In the midst of the most busy period I have experienced since I started working, I realised
that i am more emotionally unstable than i thought i was,
that i cannot handle stress well,
that i do not belong to the corporate world and i am totally not interested in climbing up the corporate ladder.

Nowadays, I can't get to sleep because I can't stop thinking about work.
About what I have to do the next day.
How i am going to do it.
What if i cannot finish doing my work.
what if i do my work wrongly.

Last night,
I had this strange worry.
that I would work on my Teammate file (some work paper program) after I have created a local replica, and there will be conflicts and all my work will be gone . k, u dun know what i am talking about. it simply means i would commit a fault and lose all my work.
as a result, i fought hard to sleep.

i wish i can go travel.
i wish i can pursue my dreams.
i wish i can do what i want.

but sometimes, its just so diffcult to get out of that status quo. and it takes more courage than u have.