Getting out of the Rat Race

This week I have been feeling kind of lethargic and for two days, I actually took 2-hour nap in the afternoon despite have 8 to 9 hours of deep, undisturbed sleep at night. Also, I have been getting these neck/shoulder aches, which I always had when I was still working probably due to the long hours at the computer.

So yesterday I went for the yoga class with Anna whose husband is also in the same Class as Ah C. I have done yoga before when I had gym membership with California Fitness and True Fitness but yesterday's session was somehow the most relaxing one I ever had. They concentrated on breathing techniques and simple stretching moves which can be easily mastered by anyone with a few sessions while the yoga lessons which I had in Singapore tended to have some rather challenging moves which I felt can be too tough for beginners. I feel that yoga was never meant to help lose weight but to improve our flexibility, relax our muscles and joints (especially for people who exercise a lot but don't stretch enough) and helps improve our respiratory system. So I decided that I shall go for all yoga lessons, which is held three times a week :)

This aside, I feel very fortunate and lucky to be given this chance to take time off work, to reflect on my life for the last four years. I worked hard for the three years in the big four accounting firm, though not the hardest among my peers, sometimes even on weekends, having little time for personal hobbies and activities. Some nights I wake up trying to recall what I had to accomplish the next day and how much of my work was still outstanding. And I remembered during a inter-CPA futsal competition, I had to asked to be sub out during a game because I couldn't keep up with the game due to my fitness. That was the first time in my life I couldn't keep up with a game. Having been a very sporty person all my life, I felt like shit. Its not just about the looks, but most importantly, its about my health. We keep our bodies fit so that we can defend our bodies from sickness and diseases. And diseases doesn't just come with fat people. I have seen some peers who have lost weight I can tell you its not always healthy. The lack of muscle mass eventually makes injuries easier, weakens immunity system and makes you tire out easier as you age.

After I switched company (still working as an auditor), the better working hours meant I had more time to myself - time to read, to meet up with friends after work etc. But still I felt tired and fatigued. I still suffered from insomnia. Then I realise it was the job - the people and things that I had to dealt with on the job. I can tell you auditing is one of the most stressful job in the world. Not the toughest, but one of the most stressful. And its worse if you are not deriving any job satisfaction from it. And job satisfaction is not something "you get by with", but that you know you are working for a cause which you agree with or supports.

I see friends and peers consistently complaining about their job on facebook. Many end their week downing alcohol and breathing second-hand smoke in bars and clubs - need I mention the adverse effect alcohol has on our liver and the increased likelihood of cancer? Many of us probably does not realise the impact our current lifestyle have on us in the future - cos everyone is just doing the same thing. Just like everyone is in the rat race - but what are we exactly after?

I am glad to be given this one year time-off. Not because I can slack and do nothing. Not working does not equate to doing nothing (and come to think of it, working does not equate to something). But because I can now start being healthy again - I now exercise 4-5 times a week. I haven't drank alcohol for three months partly because i am on medication but mostly because I don't feel the need to drink to take my mind off something. I sleep 8-9 hours a day. I read so as to know more. I cook because its my interest and its what I like to do and also cos cooking home is healthier and cheaper than eating out.

Honestly I have no idea what I am going to do when I am back. But I know what I don't want to do - I don't want to be auditor ever again. If Ah C gets posted overseas for F16 training, I will follow. If he stays in Singapore, thats when i need to think. The "worst" scenario is that I will remain unemployed but we figured that we would still be able to live comfortably on Ah C's pay by our standards. Afterall, who's to determine what's enough?

I know not everyone has this chance, but if you could and you need to, take a break from work and figure out what you really want in life. Get out of the rat race, even just for a while. Because before you know it, you will be doing this for the rest of your life.