Superstition ruins the day.. or days.

I really really don't believe in patang-ness but what can I do? Ultimate sianzzz

Say hello to 2013!

Welcome 2013!

New year's eve was just another day to me this year. Being pregnant and because hubby is not here - it meant no partying/counting down and early night rest for me. Still, 2013 is a year of many things to look forward to...

1.  Its just another 4 months till Baby Tay arrives! Time is really going by fast!
2. Quan will be completing his last phase of training (conversion to F16) and should be stationed in Singapore for at least the next couple of years... no more LDR! (Cheers to enduring the past 6 years)
3. After 3 years of waiting, we are finally getting the keys to our flat! Having spent some 2-person time in the US for a year, I am really looking forward to having the privacy of our own home again, of cos with the addition of our new family member!

For 2013, my resolution is to go easy on myself, worry less and think more happy thoughts.. 2013 is just going to be awesome :-)

An emotional day

I am trying very hard to trace back to the day when i started becoming so emotional, but I can't. When was it that i began to tear so uncontrollably during a touching scene (and maybe not THAT touching), crying over something that I feel that I haven't done right, or even for a misunderstanding that I knew was just a misunderstanding but can't get over the fact that it had happen.

Today I cried very hard. Over something very minor, a one-sided misunderstanding as u might call it. Initially I didn't know what I was crying so hard for.. but as my head slowly cleared, and as the only person who knows me really really well pointed out, i finally had some idea. That I was holding very hard to something I should have let go of, that i was aware things are not the same anymore, but not accepting it until today.

People in your life come and go. Friends become acquaintances, it seems you know less and less about them each time u see or talk to them. You find that you can't really hold a conversation of longer than ten minutes and what you talk about are only superficial.

Take for example, when I found out I was pregnant, i made it a point to send a private message to a few groups of my closest (at least I thought they are) friends. Because I was really happy and wanted to share my joy with them, thinking that they will be equally excited. Some congratulated me, and went on to ask more about the pregnancy. While others congratulated me. yes full stop there. Then you realise that some people are really not that interested in your life anymore.

I am a easily contented person in the sense I don't care about material stuff at all. Because I have realised that the marginal joy a branded bag can bring to me becomes zero after a day or two. But I really care about my relationships with people I treasure and these mean the world to me.

And sometimes I wish they didn't. Because being emotionally uncontrollable as I am, I am just that far from being perfectly happy with my life. I am not blaming anyone, because its really not anybody's obligation to do anything for me. Its just that I really have to learn to let go...

 

Post-Texas

It has been a while.. in the last 6 months it has been changes and changes. Ah C successfully completed his UPT training, we moved (3 hour drive) from Del Rio to San Antonio, stayed there for 2 months, completed IFF training and came back to Singapore. 2012 has been a rough year.. and we take in comfort that we had each other to brave through it together. But who's to say that it will be a bad year throughout? For we are now blessed with the best thing in our lives (other than each other)... our little one that I have been carrying in my tummy for 4 months now :) The first trimester has been challenging.. ultimate fatigue (never felt so tired in my life), nausea, loss of appetite. And time seemed to be crawling by.... But now that is all over, and its exciting to see my tummy getting bigger and bigger day by day. I can't describe how happy and excited i am, as I await the day I can finally hold it in my arms.

Drop Night

Last night was one of the memorable nights we have on Laughlin AFB, because it was Drop Night, a key  milestone in UPT (Undergraduate Pilot Training). Basically Americans who want to become a pilot in the US Air Force undergo the UPT program. It consists of 6-month training in the T-6 aircraft, after which is Track (another key milestone in UPT) whereby they get assigned to continue pilot training on the helicopter track, the heavys track (i.e. transport) in the T1 aircraft or the fighter track in the T38 aircraft. However, even training in the T38 doesn't guarantee you a fighter at the end of the program.

So Drop Night occurs after training in the T6  for 6 months, and T1/T38 for another 6 months, and its the day when our American counterparts are assigned the aircraft that they will be flying on their next phase of their Air Force career. For us Singaporeans, we won't know until we are back in Singapore, which means another good 3-6 months.

I must say, it was an Awesome drop, and we are really very happy for these guys and their spouses, who have become good friends. Most of the guys in the T-38s got there first choice - one F16, one F15, one F22, two A10s and one B52. That means for 5 fighters and 1 bomber out of 8 people. And that is an AWESOME drop, probably one of the best I have heard of. Even for the other other two, one turned out to be a FAIP (First Assignment Instructor Pilot) meaning he will be an instructor training new students right after he becomes a pilot, which is a great honour, and the other will be flying the MC12, which is used for special operations, and both I think is a great honour. It wasn't really their first few choices, but that is the life in Air Force, you don't always get what you want. But i think that whatever you get, you are doing something great.  
Anyway, Jonathan, one of our best friends here, got the F15! And we are very thrilled for him and his wife Anna!!! This also means a possibility that Tay C gets the F15 too and we might have a chance to be posted to the same base as them again (Mountain Home AFB in Idaho)!






In two weeks, we will be having our graduation. I can't believe our life in Laughlin is coming to an end soon. Some beautiful memories we have here, some great friends we have met. I am thankful for this 9 months here.

On Monday, my S Club girls (from st nicks) were on whatsapp talking about where to have high tea on their labour day meet up (of cos I can't be there) so i recommended them to try Fosters' (at Holland V) english high tea set. This reminded myself of their yummy scones and homemade fruit preserve. The next day I went online to search for some recipes and found out that both fruit preserve and scones are really easy to make and require only a few ingredients. Fruit preserve - fresh fruits (i used strawberries), sugar and lemon juice. Scones - flour, butter, sugar, baking powder, egg, milk/cream, some dried fruits (i used dried cranberries). I had everything in my house so there is nothing really stopping me from making some.

Mixing strawberries (washed, hulled and cut) with sugar and some lemon juice. Then boil it, mash it and simmer it until it thickens.

 Here's what you get.. then refrigerate it.

Freshly baked cranberry scones.
They could look nicer if I had a circular cookie cutter. But I don't, so I used my hand to shape it. The spouses from our class came over for dinner so I served these as desserts after the meal. It was great to see them enjoying the goodies. These are definitely going onto the menu when we have high tea at my house next time!

Faith

I was a buddhist from birth due to family beliefs then. When i was 13, I followed a senior in secondary school to church and stayed for a year - attending saturday youth service, bible studies and cell groups. Not sure if I was just too young back then, I felt I never really learn much about Christianity. Going to church was more of a "fun" thing, singing, meeting new friends etc. Then i felt that it was taking too much of my time and effort and I stopped going. From then on, I became a free thinker, and it has been 12 years, almost 13 now. During this time, my brother converted to become a Christian, followed by my mum, then my dad. My brother and my mum have asked me to follow them to church a couple of times, but I was rather skeptical and never took a great interest. I didn't think there is a meaning in praying to God for anything. And that if there is anything you really want, you should just work hard for it yourself, why pray? This was until about a month ago.

As you know, CC is undergoing his pilot training right now. Pilot training is a long process.. airgrading, basic wing, advanced wings,conversion... and this is a important phase because it leads him to his pilot wings - meaning it officially makes him a pilot (no longer a trainee). And going through his training day-to-day, i realised it is much tougher then I thought. For this 11-month training, it is split into two phases - the T-6 aircraft and the T-38 aircraft. He is into phase 2 now and is required to pass 3 flying tests i.e. check rides to complete the course. So.... his first check ride didn't went too well. And we were really at the phase where we thought we might have to go back to Singapore earlier than expected. I never doubted his flying, and he has really been doing very well. But somehow, things just seem so out of our control at that time. I knew how bad he wanted this but there was really nothing I could do. I wished I could do something - so I turned to God, even though I am not a Christian. I prayed and prayed. And then CC passed.

I will never know if its really because God answered my prayers. But when I prayed, I told God that if CC get through this, I would start to learn more about Him. So that very same day, I read up online about Christianity. One thing that I have always been curious about was the different types of Christianity there are - so thats what I began with. And then one strange thing happened. The next evening, because CC went for a weekend flying assignment, I went for dinner with the other spouses in the class. In the car, one girl suddenly asked the others if they fast or have eating restrictions on certain days - something she does for her type of Christianity. And this started off a conversation about the different kinds of Christianity. I have hung out with them a couple of times and that was really the first time they even talk about religion. This, i truly feel, is more than a coincidence.

So I am not yet a Christian. For one thing, i feel that His teachings has been translated in so many versions I really am not interested in just following a certain group's beliefs and do what they think is the way to worship God. I want to learn more about Him through His original words. So here I am, with my new book of the Holy Bible, learning about Him the way I think I should..