Faith

I was a buddhist from birth due to family beliefs then. When i was 13, I followed a senior in secondary school to church and stayed for a year - attending saturday youth service, bible studies and cell groups. Not sure if I was just too young back then, I felt I never really learn much about Christianity. Going to church was more of a "fun" thing, singing, meeting new friends etc. Then i felt that it was taking too much of my time and effort and I stopped going. From then on, I became a free thinker, and it has been 12 years, almost 13 now. During this time, my brother converted to become a Christian, followed by my mum, then my dad. My brother and my mum have asked me to follow them to church a couple of times, but I was rather skeptical and never took a great interest. I didn't think there is a meaning in praying to God for anything. And that if there is anything you really want, you should just work hard for it yourself, why pray? This was until about a month ago.

As you know, CC is undergoing his pilot training right now. Pilot training is a long process.. airgrading, basic wing, advanced wings,conversion... and this is a important phase because it leads him to his pilot wings - meaning it officially makes him a pilot (no longer a trainee). And going through his training day-to-day, i realised it is much tougher then I thought. For this 11-month training, it is split into two phases - the T-6 aircraft and the T-38 aircraft. He is into phase 2 now and is required to pass 3 flying tests i.e. check rides to complete the course. So.... his first check ride didn't went too well. And we were really at the phase where we thought we might have to go back to Singapore earlier than expected. I never doubted his flying, and he has really been doing very well. But somehow, things just seem so out of our control at that time. I knew how bad he wanted this but there was really nothing I could do. I wished I could do something - so I turned to God, even though I am not a Christian. I prayed and prayed. And then CC passed.

I will never know if its really because God answered my prayers. But when I prayed, I told God that if CC get through this, I would start to learn more about Him. So that very same day, I read up online about Christianity. One thing that I have always been curious about was the different types of Christianity there are - so thats what I began with. And then one strange thing happened. The next evening, because CC went for a weekend flying assignment, I went for dinner with the other spouses in the class. In the car, one girl suddenly asked the others if they fast or have eating restrictions on certain days - something she does for her type of Christianity. And this started off a conversation about the different kinds of Christianity. I have hung out with them a couple of times and that was really the first time they even talk about religion. This, i truly feel, is more than a coincidence.

So I am not yet a Christian. For one thing, i feel that His teachings has been translated in so many versions I really am not interested in just following a certain group's beliefs and do what they think is the way to worship God. I want to learn more about Him through His original words. So here I am, with my new book of the Holy Bible, learning about Him the way I think I should..